So what do you do when you lose your boyfriend and best friend all in one swoop??? You get angry, have several meltdowns, go on a mini vacation and wake up a few days later realizing you're single, sexy and free, chop off a good chunk off your hair, and return to your rock star/punk rock phase (minus the drugs and alcohol) of being the sassy, quirky bitch that everyone knows and loves. That's right ladies and gents, I'm back!!!

My Friend JL

So as a member of the stacks, I met this dude one day. We exchanged pleasantries through BB. A few months later, he's still around and I have to admit he's a pretty cool guy. He was there for me during my recent crisis...lending an ear and words of wisdom....and I'm there for him during "singing lady" and sometimes when he's bored at work. Lol. He comes from a Honda family and he's very family oriented. He lives close by so hopefully we'll get to meet one day. So here's to my friend JL!!!

Things I miss about being in a relationship:

1. A nice, firm hand to scrub my back
2. hmm.....cricket......cricket.

Lol. Just kidding, there are a lot of things I miss about being with him in particular, too many to list, but there are some that I don't. I'm still trying to put together the missing pieces of the puzzle. I know now that he'll never tell me what truly happened, how things got this far and in a way, its better for some things to be left unsaid. I haven't had any meltdowns since the last post, so I think its safe to say that things are getting better. We even talk more and its not as hard as it was a couple of months ago. He's starting to voice his regret a little more, especially since he found out about the trip....jealous!!!....but we both know things have to stay this way for a while and maybe forever. Forever was what I was afraid of in the beginning and I had a hard time letting go, but it has to be this way. Besides, I need to sort out my feelings about my muse. This is something I have to address and settle with myself.

No woman, no cry!!!

It has been an extremely trying week. The realization that you have to start anew and by yourself. The mini discussion and decision about the account. Seeing my dog for less than 2 minutes after 3 months. Dealing with office politics and the sharks vying for my office. Dealing with lawyers and legal documents. Deadlines. Decisions. Desolation. The tears, fears, anxiety, anger and to top it all off, its that time of the year. At the time when I feel the worst in both my personal and professional life, I have to complete a self evaluation. I've somehow managed to make it this far through the week. To keep myself laughing and smiling, even though on the inside I was anything but....and today thank God for Katie. As "Katie did Dallas" (short story: her full name sounds like a stripper name)....as she did her little dance at the end of the day just to make me laugh, I realized that the pains in my back are gone, along with the kink in my neck. I realized that I was actually laughing and smiling, not just pretending. It has been a trying journey but it is time to forgive and venture onto a different path. It has been a trying week, but as the weekend approaches, I plan to leave all that behind me and be grateful for those that have kept me smiling.

Good friends we have, oh, good friends we've lost
Along the way, yeah!
In this great future, you can't forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh, yeah!

"No Woman No Cry" --- Bob Marley

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind." --- Dr. Seuss